That Time I Drank Too Much Wine On A Tuesday Night
So yesterday was a mess. Not bad mess – not the kind where you had a bad day or bad news that made you have a meltdown – and don’t worry, it definitely wasn’t a Britney Spears-2007-mess either.
Just the kind of day where you don’t have a care in the world.
I will paint a picture for you:
After my pretty busy/normal day at work, I headed off to training and had a really hard (but good) workout. I went home and decided that a glass of wine sounded delightful.
Two (five) glasses sounded even better… and then the rest is history.
I don’t know if someone put tequila in my wine or what; or if it is just the fact that I have cut back on drinking in general and am now apparently a lightweight but things got weird after that. I am usually a very mellow drinker and most people tell me they cant even tell the difference when I’ve been drinking – besides my ADD kicks into high gear.
Anyway, so I double fisted drank my wine. In my sweaty workout clothes… and apparently when you do that, weird shit happens.
I decided I was going to help Torrance with a project that he was working on on his jet ski (because I am so nice). He for some reason gave me a sharp object (a scraper) to help him scrape glue off of his jet ski.
The picture is bad, but I assure you we scraped glue off of that so he can put new glue and new matting on (ya know, “important man stuff”).
Actually, he mostly scraped glue because when I took a break 5 minutes in to “drinka mora wine-uh” and then sang the wine song he caught on to what was going on and he took my sharp object away. He is so nice, always looking out for my safety and all.
So after that, I ate Panera. Kind of. I ordered a Panera salad (strawberry poppyseed! My favorite!) and ate all the fruit out of it and then apparently told a 70 year old stranger that “that was the most expensive ^$&#($% fruit salad I have eaten. Ever. But, shit, I’d do it again.”
So then, on the way home (and to clarify, I definitely was not driving obviously, so don’t worry or feel the need to call the cops), I decided that we had to stop at the store to get a box of Betty Crocker muffins because “those are so much fun to bake.”
But while those were baking (yes it definitely resembled an episode of My Drunk Kitchen), I decided to explain and demonstrate to the guys (using the cutting board) how much I love surfing….
I have never surfed.
And that’s when Torrance tricked me and set the oven clock an hour and a half ahead so I thought it was late and freaked out when I realized the time which would make me go to bed. Things like this make me confused about how I feel toward him – if I am pissed and want to get revenge or if I love him for it.
And then I gracefully fell asleep (that sounds better than “shamefully passing out on my face”) naming the states in alphabetical order with initials and arguing that “Iowa is IA not IO…because IO would be dumb and people might confuse it with IdahO” and then when I got to the M’s I got confused and told Torrance that “whoever came up with this shitty game was a moron because no one cares.”
Aaaaaaand….then I slept like a baby, and all was right in the world.
I am so relieved that I somehow got blessed with the “no-hangover” gene because I’m off early this morning to go take my drivers test (just a written test) to transfer my license from Alaska to NC finally… I mean, it has only been a year – it’s probably time
Have a great Wednesday – and don’t worry, back to the regularly scheduled blog posts tomorrow!
- Ever surfed?
- Do you ever have days wher eyou just sort of mentally check out and just kinda dont care what’s going on?
Yeah, obviously. I think this happens because I sort of always feel like I need to be in control of whats going on and sometimes that is exhausting so I just kinda take a…
- How old were you when you got your license the very first time? How many times did it take you to pass your test?
16. And I passed on the 3rd time. Hey, it was raining in Alaska in February. I went through a yellow light and they automatically failed me for running a red! There was no stopping on that zambonied ice rink.