The Thing I Have Been Reluctant To Tell You…
I haven’t been completely honest with you guys.
First, before I get into it, let me just say that there is a couple reasons I have been reluctant to mention this on the blog –
- a) I like to keep things light and cheery around here – well, besides my occasional rants
- b) I’m not ready to talk about it in length on the blog yet
- c) I hope that people dont think it is tacky that I’m talking about it
- and d) I dont want pity and all that nonsense.
But, with all that being said, if I have learned one thing while blogging, it is that chances are – someone else has been through/is going through the same thing.
The real reason my blogging has been scarce lately is due to having a family member that is terminally ill. (I hate that “terminally ill” is the politically correct term in this instance by the way – it just sounds horrible).
Yes, do you remember this post from last September (2011)? Very vague…yes – but that is what I was referring to, as that is when we first got the news.
Well, actually, since we are being honest here – it is a member of Torrance’s family. But, Torrance’s family = my family because seriously, they have always been there for me the last 10 years and they are amazing – so it is all the same to me.
I have mentioned before that I am particularly close to both his mom and dad (who are divorced and live in different states mind you) so it was difficult news for us to take when we heard that Torrance’s mom was diagnosed (actually re-diagnosed, but we will talk about that another time) with very aggressive cancer last September. Very tough situation.
Because it is “his family” I find it harder for me to discuss (on the blog) because I want to respect everyone’s privacy, so that is a lot of the reason why I have been so quiet about it and why I will not go into details just yet.
I’m not sure if you have personally ever experienced something similar to this (I really hope you have not!) because I never had up until now so I wasnt really sure what to expect. As in what to expect as a whole: how I would feel, how other family members would feel, how to act, etc. and let me tell you – it is a very tough thing. No one ever wants to see a family member struggle with their health.
I am naturally very positive person and someone that always wants those I love around me to feel comfortable and be happy and have what they need. Because of that, it has kind of made me Torrance’s “rock” over the years and especially in this situation. I’m okay with that, but it can be hard at times when things seem bleak. But you just gotta’ stay strong for the one’s you care about!
And though we are still “dealing” with this from a distance (since his mom lives in Florida) I can definitely say I am thankful that we are in NC rather than Alaska still – the distance from Alaska would have made it that much more difficult. So I’m thankful we are at a much better advantage to be able to visit with her, etc.
So the point of me sharing this now? Basically that I dont like to feel like I’m hiding things… even if it is from a bunch of people I dont physically/personally know (i.e. blog readers) and to be honest, that is why my blog has definitely fallen by the wayside in the last few months which I am sure everyone could understand now.
I miss blogging regularly and hope to do so somewhat more now because it is actually a nice little thing to do on the “side” and makes life feel normal, however, with everything going on it may just not always be doable as his mom gets weaker – so bare with me.
The good news is – I have some lighter, and happier posts in the works to come soon!
Have a great Tuesday! (and make sure you vote! – like you’re not sick of hearing that one!)