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The Things I Do That Drive Him Wild…Or Crazy.

….Not that way you cheeky little perves you.

These are more of the things I do that drive him crazy. He says drives him crazy in the “annoying” way but I pretend like he means “damn babe, you drive me crazy!” (hubba hubba).

Yeah, I gots’ some quirks. I like to think that they make him love me more. I think he just puts up with it, or better yet, I think he has fine-tuned the art of “tuning me out.”

1. I sing-song 50% of the things I do.
“I am going to the grocery store, buying all the food, so we can stuff our face, hey hey hey!…”
“I am doing the dishes, cleaning all the things, spoons from in your mouth, ew ew, and ew…”

And sometimes I just say regular things in a sing-song way.
“This is my brown dog, she is really soft, I like to pet her ears, she takes really big poops…”
“I saw a really big bug, it was really nasty, made me want to puke…”

No rhyme, no reason, it’s just what I do.

Yes, awesome. Maybe someday I will make a Vlog for you guys. (Not really)

2. I jump out from behind things. A LOT.
He finally stopped getting mad at me about this and realized that I HATE when people jump out and scare me so he just does it back to me now (which in turn, is not as fun when I do it to him, knowing he will get me back).

Lately I have turned my sights on brown dog, she’s more fun because she suffers from small brain syndrome and forgets that I scared her from behind the same door 5 minutes earlier. It’s almost too easy.

kbrown2

3. “Brown hair, DONT care!”
This is a new one.

Last week he came to relax on the couch like he always does and me and brown dog were sprawled out on the couch, no room for him, and we werent moving. He whined. And I just told him “brown hair, dont care.”

So now, I pretty much say it at any opportunity I can. I love that it extra-applies to Kona also, since she does in fact, have brown hair as well. So when he yells at her, I just tell him “brown hair, dont care.”

gif2

4. I hide his candy bars.
This actually backfires on me. A lot. But it still deserves mentioning.
He is a chocolate addict. Hardcore. To be specific, Dove Milk Chocolate bars. When I go grocery shopping I only buy like 10 of them. And then I will leave like 2 out, and hide the rest in various places and the next morning after hes gone for work, I will set 2 more out for him for that night. Basically forcing him to ration them. I mean if he sees that there are 6 sitting out, he will eat all 6 in one night (I wish I were kidding).

Obviously at this point, he knows that I have some stashed. So sometimes in the middle of the night when he is on a binge, he gets all crazy and HAS to have them and he will actually wake me up. Which pisses me off. I know he is desperate at this point because I am a mean ol’ bitch when I get woken up, so he is definitely taking a risk. And usually because I am so pissed and I know he is desperate at that point and wont leave me alone,  I will tell him where to find a bar or 2 (which is also a pain because then in the future I cant hide stuff there). Yes, I am a chocolate enabler.

But seriously, I ran out of places in the kitchen to hide them, I’ve now moved onto other rooms of the house.

5. I throw everything away.
I am like the opposite of a hoarder. To a fault though, I hate anything extra, and he is sort of sentimental and holds onto things.

If he sets something on the counter that looks like trash, its getting thrown away. If I’m not sure if it’s trash, it gets thrown in a drawer (and I forget about it…oops).

You know why?
Cuz brown hair, dont care.

6. I snore. Loudly.
I have some major allergies (especially right now) which means I basically cant breathe through my nose whatsoever. Seriously, I dont know that this needs any further explanation. I especially hate that he wakes me up when my snoring gets bad. He wakes me up all frantic and I shoot up like the house is on fire and then hes like “BABE you were snoring so loud.” I mean seriously, you woke me up for that? Just kick me or something until I stop.

6. I take forever to tell stories.
This one drives him the most crazy.
Hey, I like to talk. Sometimes I get going and then I feel the need for a back story.
….And then I get done with the backstory and go back to my regular story
….and then I sort of forget… but I keep going, and then I repeat myself.. and then..
….well you get it.

storygif

7. Related to the last one, I also make awesome jokes.
Yes, you guessed it, I am equally as awesome at telling jokes. Good thing I’m more of a punny person, or I’m good for some awesome one liners.

Well, I think they’re awesome, he doesnt always agree. I will laugh at myself for like 5 minutes.

high 5

I like to think he agrees they are hilarious but that he is just intimidated by my sense of humor.

You’re welcome Torrance.

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  • Give me one of your quirks that your significant other/roommate/friend(s)/etc just love about you.
15 Comments Post a comment
  1. #5 is so us as well. And somehow this extends to food. I throw things away, he thinks they are still good. Hello M&M’s from like 3 Easter’s ago. Speaking of, it is trash day and he left for work. Time to go clean out the fridge!

    The Kidless Kronicles

    April 25, 2013
    • ha! perfect!! Yes, he hangs onto everything like it has sentimental value… “this moldy cheese has always been there for me!…”

      April 25, 2013
  2. Brown hair don’t care. Love. You could also use long hair don’t care (not so much for Kona), I’ve heard that, too. I am also an extreme story teller. The people in my life (home AND work probably hate me lol. Sometime I make myself crazy hearing the ridiculousness that is my way of telling stories. One leads to many. I’m also a super loud snorer. Since I was really little. It’s ok though because Donnie also snores loud so it’s almost a contest to see who can fall asleep first-the loser gets to listen 😃

    April 25, 2013
    • Haha my parents are like that, my dad is a crazy snorer but over the years now my mom snores louder to tune him out I think!

      April 25, 2013
  3. HAHA… my husband sings everything too… drives ME nuts ;)
    Things I do that I’m sure annoys him: 1. my hair is EVERYWHERE (but I can’t help this) 2. I have to plan EVERYTHING (I blame it on the fact that I’m a teacher) 3. I cannot for the life of me sleep in. 7 am is my latest wake up call. 4. If I don’t run in the morning I am not a fun person to be around. 5. I have so many workout clothes that I just gave up on organizing them in our closet. 6. When we run together I HAVE to be on his left side.
    I think I could keep going but I would rather not think I annoy him THIS much ;)

    April 25, 2013
    • I love that you have to be on the left! too funny! Ugh my hair is everywhere too, but yes, we cant help that ;)

      April 25, 2013
  4. I have to be on schedule everywhere. I get super anxious if I feel that we are running late. He hates this because he doesn’t like to be the first person anywhere.

    I hide goodies from him too. They aren’t for myself, they are for him. I have to help him ration out his goodies or he WILL eat them all in one night and then ask me to get more the next day.

    I don’t like just hanging out at the house. I have to constantly be doing something. He hates that I have anxiety and can’t just relax at the house with him.

    Same thing as you. If the dog is on the couch or bed with me and you can’t fit…sorry Charlie, you should have beat us to it.

    April 25, 2013
    • Haaaa the anxiety and not being able to just sit and hangout with him is another one we have. He is like “lets watch a movie!” and of course I agree but then I will paint my nails… or get on the computer haha. He accuses me of not paying attention, but ya know, whatever.

      April 25, 2013
  5. YOU need to come over to my house and THROW EVERYTHING AWAY!!! Seriously. While I don’t have that much stuff…. Or so it seems, my hoarding is hidden in my closets and pantries! HELP ME GET RID OF THE CLUTTER! lol

    April 26, 2013
  6. Kayla Borba #

    I WISH you new how hard I laughed! my co worker in the next room was all…what are you laughing at?! lol. The story telling & joking I can totally relate to. So funny!!

    April 26, 2013
  7. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    I love this!

    April 30, 2013
  8. I also throw everything away. Opposite of a hoarder, that is a great way to describe it. Love it.

    April 30, 2013
  9. Hilarious!! I’m definitely a food tosser on anything that’s more than like one day old. He’s happy I finally read an article about how long you can keep salsa!

    May 1, 2013

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